Greenland, Golden Domes, Iran & Colbert: Trump's Friday Night AI Fever Dream

Welcome to the most digitally productive presidency in American history, where foreign policy is an AI image, diplomacy is a Truth Social caption, and revenge is a dumpster with good lighting.

Late Friday, Trump went on one of his signature Truth Social sprees, flooding the platform with AI-generated posts covering his grandest ambitions, a Golden Dome missile defense shield over the White House and the acquisition of Greenland. Because why hold a press conference when you can just render your dreams in stunning 4K?

First came a glowing, futuristic fortified dome surrounding the White House, complete with space satellites capable of shooting missiles at enemies, captioned "Golden Dome for the White House." Then, a larger-than-life figure of Trump loomed over a Greenlandic coastal community, captioned with the warm, totally-not-ominous greeting - "Hello Greenland!" Greenland's leaders, who have consistently maintained the island is not for sale , remained unconvinced. Shocking, really.

But the Arctic fantasy was just the warm-up. Trump also posted a map of the Middle East overlaid with the American flag , arrows pointing directly at Iran. Subtle foreign policy at its finest.

And saving the pettiest for last, Trump shared an AI video depicting himself grabbing Stephen Colbert by the shoulders and tossing him into a dumpster , just one night after The Late Show aired its final episode, before breaking into his beloved "YMCA" dance. Colbert's show ended after an 11-year run on CBS , with the cancellation drawing controversy given it followed Colbert's public criticism of Paramount over a legal settlement involving Trump.

In a single Friday evening, Trump claimed Greenland, shielded the White House, threatened Iran, and threw a comedian in the trash all without leaving his phone. Governing has never looked so cinematic, or felt so deeply unhinged.